As Sheryl Crow once sang, “the first cut is the deepest.” Now as I sit down to start a blog, something I have been wanting to do for over a year, I can’t help but to hear that lyric as, “the first blog is the hardest.” I have a long list of topics, complete with titles, but somehow I overlooked the first post. Clearly a rookie mistake. Fast forward to 6:30PM on an October Sunday night, and I’m sitting on my couch, freshly showered with the “Creative Day at Work” playlist in my ears. A plan I was sure would clear my mind and provide a breeding ground for focus and creativity. But no. I mean, how do I introduce myself? What words do I use to put my mind in ink? Is that even possible? Shit. Did I just make a colossal mistake? Is buying a domain name refundable? Can I return this brand new MacBook Pro?
But then, I pause. I audibly tell myself to chill out. I make a conscious choice to relax my shoulders and remind myself that I am excited to be here. To be taking one more step toward an authentic self. I am going to be a “blogger.” I’m doing this. And even if no one ever reads my posts, at least I will be able to justify the purchase of that cheesy t-shirt I’ve always (secretly) wanted. You know, the one that says, “I’m not a writer, I just blog a lot.” (I know, I hate myself for it too, but I just cannot resist a good play on words).
But in all seriousness, I truly am excited, and a bit nervous, to be here. I love to write. Writing is how I attempt to make sense of my world. Heavy emphasis on the word attempt, because writing has yet to produce any magic answers. In fact, I’ve found that when I put the pen (or keyboard) down, I have more questions than answers. Which is semi-frustrating, but I’ve learned that that’s just part of the process. And if I am being honest, which this blog will be an exercise in mass-honesty, I’ve always felt more comfortable sharing ideas, asking questions, elevating passions, expressing my opinion, and dissecting my dreams in the written word than in any other medium.
Which leads us here, to iknowmyname.com, a blog I intend to dedicate to the journey of becoming an authentic self. A platform to use a mind full of questions as a foundation to explore ideas, passions, opinions, and dreams. To channel all the, “it’s 3:30AM, I can’t sleep, I need to write this down” moments into something tangible, and (hopefully) relatable. And with that, I invite you to join me on a journey toward an authentic self. To wrestle with the gray, to treat yourself with grace, to become someone you enjoy sleeping with, and to start writing the definition that would follow behind your name in the dictionary of life.
As for me, my entry starts with Megan. And the rest? Well, I’m still figuring it out. But tonight, I took one more step toward my authentic self. And while she was hesitant and it was a bit awkward at first, I am happy to report she welcomed me with open arms. And I hope you will too, because not only do I want you to know and define your name, but I hope to walk (digitally) with you on this journey. Because, let’s be honest, we’re all winging it.
Here ‘s to jumping in with both feet,